Sunday, April 22, 2012

My Happily Ever After

I love chic-flicks...I love the sappy romantic guy meets girl and saves girl and they fall in love and end up happy together stories. Sometimes, I also love the guy dies saving girl stories as well. And once upon a time, these stories made me wish for that in my own life...

I wanted to be rescued. I wanted to be cherished like that. I wanted some guy to see me hurting and take away the pain, to fulfill my every need...

And then I realized, I already have that...I have the perfect guy who loves me no matter what. He saw me as a confused and broken 15 year-old struggling with an eating disorder, battling depression and suicidal thoughts. He saw me as a college freshman who felt used and worthless...and afraid to trust. He saw my longing to be love and cherished. And He loved me. And in the tradition of romantic epics, once upon a time, He died...for me. That's how much He loved and valued me. And if that is where it ended, it would be a tragedy, but see, this Guy who loves me that much--He's also all powerful and conquered the grave. :) He's still alive today--over 2,000 year later. And He still continues to love me.

And one day I realized that watching these romantic movies shouldn't make me depressed or sad or fill me with longing, because I already have it. I have Someone who died to save me. I have Someone who fulfills my every need. I find my completion in Him. He is always with me--He never leaves me and He always wants to hear from me. He's never too busy for me. He's my protector. I cannot even begin to count the number of times He has protected me. He gives me worth and value. He calls me beautiful an dearly loved. He is my provider. He healed me. He is my all in all--my everything. So, no, I don't need a boyfriend or husband to do that for me. After all, men are human. Humans fail. They get tired. They mess up and hurt each other. If I am looking for a human to fulfill my needs, to give me worth and value, and to protect me, I will live in constant disappointment. Only One man can do that--the One who is both God and man. Jesus.

So, I can safely watch those movies now, and about 95% of the time (I am still human after all--I get sidetracked sometimes) walk away comforted in knowing that I don't have to long for a love like that...I already have it. And, as stories end, one day I'll live happily ever after, worshiping in front of His throne for all eternity.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Little Conversations

I love those moments in my classroom where conversations about God and life come from the smallest little moments.

Today it happened at a time when I was rushing around trying to make sure we had everything ready for standardized testing. One of my kiddos was sitting there reading "The Beginner's Bible", and he called me over to answer a question.

He pointed to a picture of Goliath on the cover and asked, "Miss Miller, why does this have a picture of a bad guy on the cover when everyone else is a good guy?"
Which got us talking about how in truth, none of us our good guys. We're fallen human beings who live in a sinful world--we're not the good guys. Which led to a discussion on Adam an Eve.

"If I were Eve, I would have told the snake 'NO!'" He told me confidently.

"Really, so whenever you're tempted to not listen or to goof off, you always say no?"

"That's different, Miss Miller."


"Well, because....I don't know. Anyway, they could talk to God, so it was easier for them." Which moved the conversation on to prayer.
"Miss Miller, do you ever hear God speaking to you? Like in the 'Prince of Egypt' where His voice came down from the sky."

"Yes, God speaks to me, but not quite like that.

"Oh, yeah, He speaks to you when He makes your prayers come true." Hmm...God is not quite the same a fairy godmother, child. :)

"Honey, God doesn't always answer our prayers with a yes."

"I know, but it's only when I pray bad things, like, "Let there be no school tomorrow.'"

"Or sometimes when we pray good things, like, when my grandma was really sick and I prayed for her to get better."

"But that's good. God said yes to that one!"

"No, He didn't. Not in the way I wanted Him to."

"Oh, why not? It's a good prayer?" And that, my friend, is the million dollar question. I love those moments when I can be completely honest with my kiddos and tell them, I don't know, but I do know that God sees a bigger picture than I can understand. And I know He's in control, and I am ok with that.